he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
