I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
