Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
