i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
