I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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