I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
