Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
