Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
