This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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