remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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