pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
