and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have already put on my inside pants.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
