covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
sarcasm needs its own font
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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