Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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