can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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