Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
