he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
