hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
