Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
