So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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