Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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