I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
