she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
