Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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