I can't breathe out the right side of my face
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
