porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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