he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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