The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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