If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
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