how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
