My cat gives me a boner
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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