no. you can't hotbox the world.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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