I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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