"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
4 words: hood of his car
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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