A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
