Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
