if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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