Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
