I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
