i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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