paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
