I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
