Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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