im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
