i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
