He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
