dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
