just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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