get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
