Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
